Loneliness & Community
A lot of us feel lonely and want more community...how do we do it?
I hope you’ve woken up this morning still reminiscing about the delicious Thanksgiving meal you had yesterday. We spent our afternoon and evening with great friends where everyone contributed to the meal and then played games until it was time for bed. (Side note, we discovered The Uzzle and boy is that fun!)
Leading up to Thanksgiving, I read many posts about how to have conversations at the table…what should your responses be if they get political? Should you just skip Thanksgiving altogether? It felt very heavy…still. This week I’ve been thinking a lot about community (thank you,
and Stephanie Harrison) and about loneliness. The pandemic brought about loneliness in a way we hadn’t experienced before but as I get older, there’s another type of loneliness that I’m realizing I feel and have felt for awhile but haven’t recognized or truly defined as loneliness, yet that’s what it is and I don’t think I’m alone.When you become a parent you’re told it takes a village but the endless nights are often all you. The doctor appointments, the many phases that feel endless, bedtime routines, getting sick…these are all times where it’s you and hopefully your partner, but it’s a lonely time.
The same lonely feelings arise when you launch a business and you’re in the thick of doing all the things. I’ve also found that if/when you decide to become vocal about what you believe in, what you are fighting for and the change you want to see, it can also be lonely.
Don’t get me wrong, there are always people cheering you (me) on but it’s rare that someone jumps in to be right beside you. I believe this is why we often turn to creating virtual friendships with those who are also in the exact spot we are in. We want change. We want to feel like we’re doing the work, but it’s hard to actually do it. It’s much easier to watch someone else speak up and lead the way while we cheer from the sidelines. BUT, what if we did the work together? What if we all chipped in to not only cheer but actually show up?
As “community” has become something more people want to be a part of and feel, I’ve seen people ask how they can start to build community in their own neighborhoods. This much I have actually done. For years now, my kids and I take a day to bake our favorite cookies around the holidays. We package up plates and deliver them to every neighbor on our court…it’s about 16 plates of cookies! During COVID, I didn’t like the increase in crime that I felt was happening nearby, so I reached out to our police department and hosted a Neighborhood Watch meeting. It was the first one in our neighborhood in over a decade. I invited neighbors from adjoining streets and people showed up because we had a common interest and goal. We now not only know each other but we also have phone numbers we can text if something happens, as well as recognize each other and wave hello.
Community means being and feeling like you’re a part of something, a group of people who share common interests. I think about social media accounts and podcast hosts who have built communities around the content they create.
I’d like to think I’m working on building a community with the work I do. A community in which we not only love stories in books but love to hear the stories of others because they help us grow as people. I work hard at building my own personal community by reaching out to people that I find not only interesting but want to learn more about. I want to share these people with everyone I meet because they deserve to be celebrated. I tell them how much I appreciate them because I know how lonely it can be and feel to show up and do the work.
As you reflect on all that you’re grateful for, let the people you appreciate know that they’re appreciated. I think the nicest thing you can say to another person is “I appreciate you.”
Podcast/Book Community
Starting this week, My Simplified Life, moves to two episodes per week. I’ve got episodes recorded through the month of December and scheduled through January! I’m talking to authors and people who are making a difference in our world and I’m ridiculously excited about every single conversation.
If you’re looking for two great winter reads that both highlight Switzerland (I’m half Swiss!), then I highly recommend you check out Bluebird Day by Meg Tady (out on 12/3) and The Christmas Countdown by Holly Cassidy.
I started what my kids are calling Books By The Fire where I’m sharing my book mail! I’m creating a video sharing the books and a bit about each one. If books keep getting delivered like they have been, I’ll be able to do a video every week! My Kindle app is also fully loaded! I’m so grateful for the book mail from authors, publishers and publicists! I’ve definitely never read so much in my life and my goal is to continue to read the book of every author I interview!
We are enjoying the next three days off by decorating for the holidays, watching football, eating and of course, reading. Online shopping is also happening nonstop over here!
If you’re looking to build a community or be a part of one, you’re not alone. I encourage you to reach out to others and share what you’re looking for and want to be a part of because I would guarantee that it could be the message that someone is waiting for.
I’m grateful for all of you.
P.S. Writing is self-care and Janna Maron of More To The Story has created a self-care writing prompt. Writing is a powerful way to process thoughts and feelings, especially if you're feeling overwhelmed or flooded by emotion. Not only can it help to better understand what you're experiencing, but also writing can be a way to clear your mind and purge pent of energy from your body.